If you’re a regular follower of mine you miiight had noticed that I had quite a few months off from September-December! Now I’m not going to go too into detail as I like to keep things private however I’m happy to share the self improvements I’ve made and the realisations I’ve had about myself, which can shed some light on what’s been happening over the past few months. It’s going to be a chapter of my life that has really affected me recently.
Nipping bad traits in the bud
In 2018 I was self sabotaging, picked arguments and shoved people away. Of course I’m not to blame for every bad friendship and situation but I think being self aware of when I’ve done something wrong or caused conflict to happen is the best for self-growth. I’ve learnt to keep people at arms length, not letting anyone affect me or be attached to anyone. I used to get really attached and let people affect my emotions greatly, now I rely on myself for happiness and my family. I’ve learnt when to speak up when things upset me but I’ve learnt to just back myself off from negative people and their actions as it only impacts me more. There are givers and there are takers, and I genuinely think I’ve been too kind, forgiving and generous to people who have just been ungrateful and entitled to your kindness. This year I strive to not be so giving, as people suck that energy and take advantage – it’s unfortunate but its a very real problem.
Getting stuck into new hobbies
As you can tell, I’ve started blogging again and getting seriously passionate about it. I’m committed to producing quality over quantity, and I want to post things I’m seriously interested in. I hope this is the year my blog shines, I’ve been really proud of my last few posts and I wanna carry on the quality.
Since being surprised with an XBox for Christmas I’ve actually really started to get into gaming, especially Forza 4, PUBG and GTA 5 (even Sims 4..). Its a great distraction and I get really competitive haha.
I’ve also been trying a lot more making and getting into primers and blush, which I used to hate! Trying new makeup is so therapeutic and fun.. if you’re a makeup lover you’ll know the feeling I’m talking about.
Overall, getting back into hobbies is super rewarding and great for your mental health.
Sorting mental health out
As I spoke about in my 2018 post, I’ve recently took up going to counselling which has been fab. My counsellor is really fun and nice, I really understand what he says and I feel a lot more positive about my mental health. My counsellor makes me see things in a clear light, like things just make sense a lot more now. The combination of counselling and anti-depressants is doing me a world of good, I’m feeling like the old me again. Of course my mental health was the biggest factor of my disapearance, so I’m sorry for that but I’m back and feeling better.
As Ariana would say, “My smile is beamin’, my skin is gleamin’,
the way it shine, I know you’ve seen it”.
Been saying yes more, and being more social!
If you’ve seen my instagram then you’ll see i’ve posted a lot more going out and being with friends/family more. It’s done me the world of good, saying yes to spontaneous and planned plans (and NOT flaking!). It’s been fab, and I’ve been getting distracted and busy rather than focusing of the disillusionment of my mental illness.
Cleaning my room, looking after myself and actually eating has been my biggest form of self care. Waking up and getting through the day, getting my to-do lists done etc has been really rewarding. Treating myself more and looking after myself, as well as being kinder to myself has really helped. It’s took a while and it’s been a long process but I’m getting there. Instead of critiquing and beating myself up I’m giving myself positive affirmations and encouraging myself! My counsellor has helped me a lot with this too.